I'm Scared, James
by lyssanoelle
Summary: "As for being scared, we all are.  But I, for one, don't want to focus on it until I have to.  Live out the rest of my school days."  Rated T for two little words.


**A/N: Just finished drafting this today. . . excited to hear what you think (:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Shocker.**

"Potter, what the _hell _did you do?" Marlene McKinnon's voice could be heard all throughout the common room as she bounded down the steps from the girl's dormitory, approaching the raven-haired boy.

"What on earth are you talking about?" asked the head boy, looking up from his game of wizard's chess with fellow Gryffindor, Remus Lupin.

"Lily Evans, your girlfriend!" Marlene exclaimed, exasperated. "She's up in the dorm sobbing her eyes out!"

James' eyebrows knit together, his mind not making sense of what Marlene was trying to accuse him of. "Did you ask her what's the matter?"

Marlene rolled her eyes at this, becoming irritated. In her mind, James was still the arrogant toe rag from before, and when Lily had told her that the two were dating last week during breakfast, she couldn't help but look disgusted. Disgusted and confused. And when she found out that the two had been together for over a month, the pumpkin juice that she was gulping shot out of her mouth like a firecracker.

"Yes, Potter. I asked. And Alice asked, and Emmeline asked. She just shook her head and continued crying." Crossing her arms in front of her chest, Marlene gave him another look, waiting for an answer.

"McKinnon, I haven't seen Lily since after advance Charms. Professor McGonagall came and told her that Dumbeldore needed to speak with her." James confessed. He hadn't thought much of it, but now he couldn't help but think maybe he should have.

"I haven't seen her since breakfast," Remus added, before declaring, "Check mate," to James.

"Dumbledore must have said something, then." Marlene reasoned. James nodded in agreement, frowning at the thought. "Whatever happened, you need to make it better, Potter." She finished with another one of her looks, letting him know that this was his responsibility, even if it wasn't his fault.

"And how am I supposed to do that? You know as well as I do that I couldn't possibly get into the girl's dormitory." He wanted to help Lily, he really did, but there was no way for him to enter her dormitory (he and Sirius had tried fifth year), and from the sounds of it, she wouldn't be coming down anytime soon.

"James Potter," Marlene sounded shocked, placing one of her hands to her chest in fake dramatic sort of way. "I'm surprised you haven't thought of this before."

"Thought of what?"

"You know, the dorms do have windows. And weren't you just bragging to those first years about your new Cleansweep?" Marlene concluded, and walked away from the boys, heading out the portrait hole.

James looked into space, a bit confused as to what Marlene was talking about. It took a few minutes before he finally perked up with understanding, exclaiming "I can fly up to the window!" to Remus, who could only shake his head as the other boy sprinted up to retrieve his broom.

* * *

><p>Lily Evans was alone. Her parents were dead, her sister hated her, and the safe-haven that was Hogwarts would be over at the end of this year. She didn't even know what to do with her life, where to go.<p>

"_Six essays, due in five days!" James complained as he and Lily exited Professor Flitwick's advance Charms class, taking Lily's small hand into his own._

"_Oh, stop complaining." She countered back, grinning from ear to ear. "If you would have done your homework at any time in the past few days, you wouldn't have this problem."_

"_Well maybe I would have been able to, if a certain pretty girl hadn't been distracting me."_

_Lily pretended to be outraged, but gave way into a fit of giggles. "And who would this girl be? I'll have to give her a stern talk for distracting the head boy from his work."_

_The young couple shared a fit of laughter as they both made their way to the Great Hall for lunch. However, the always-stern looking Professor McGonagall stopped the two seventh years on the way. _

"_Miss Evans, Professor Dumbledore would like to see you." She stated, sounding almost sad. Lily nodded, gently taking her hand out of James' and gave him one last grin before walking towards the Headmaster's office. Professor McGonagall walked very quickly, and Lily was almost at a jog trying to keep up with her._

_They reached the entrance, a large and rather hideous eagle statue whose wings guarded the steps towards the office. "Grape fizz." McGonagall said, and as the statue began to move, Lily couldn't help but hold in giggles. The professor motioned for her to climb onto the steps, and she obliged, watching as McGonagall disappeared through the rotations that lead her to the office._

_By the end of the staircase, Lily faced a large wooden door with a heavy brass knocker. She lifted it up and brought it down on the door a total of three times, before letting it back to it's resting position. She had to stand alone for a moment, before a calm voice called out, "You may come in." The door swung open on it's own, something Lily had grown accustomed to seeing at Hogwarts._

_Upon entering the Headmaster's office, Lily's bright green eyes flickered around the room, taking in her surroundings. She had been here only once before, and not much had changed since then. All of the portraits of previous Headmasters were asleep, some even snoring, rather loudly in her opinion._

"_Hello Miss Evans." Professor Dumbledore called out, a friendly smile on his face. Lily walked towards the old man, as he reached for a small glass bowl, full of multi-colored candies. "Would you like a skittle?" He offered, as she raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure you've heard of them before, they're small muggle candies, and I must admit that I've been growing rather fond of them."_

"_Um. . . no, thank you, Professor." It took her a minute to regain her thoughts. "Professor, why did you want to see me?" She eventually asked, still standing._

_There was a long pause, and then, "Perhaps you should sit down, Miss Evans."_

They were dead. Gone. And they would be forever.

Her sister hated her. She was alone.

_Tap._ "Lily!" _Tap tap._ "Lily, let me in!"

Lily looked up from the pillow on her bed, her face red and tear struck and her normally well-kept hair frazzled and all over the place. The sound was coming from outside her window, and the voice sounded like James – but how?

She stood up slowly, wiping her face with the sleeve of her sweater, and smoothing down her train wreck of hair. Walking over to the window, she pushed back the maroon curtains and let out a small gasp. Flying outside of her window, on his new broomstick, was James Potter.

"Lily, let me in." He repeated. His voice wasn't in a harsh tone, but more one of complete urgency, his eyes begging with her.

"Wha. . . James, it's the girls' dormitory."

"McKinnon said you were down about something. And by the looks of things, she was right." He paused, waiting for her to bounce back at him with a snide comment. When she said nothing, he sighed before stating, "C'mon Lily. It's cold out here, and I don't want my nose to fall off waiting for you."

Lily sighed, reaching up to open the window. Catching a gust of cold wind that blew her hair to even more of a wreck, James flew in and landed, dropping his broom, his hazel eyes following his red-haired girlfriend as she walked over to her four-poster bed, sitting down with her legs crossed, motioning him over.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, still watching her closely. She grabbed one of her pillows, and set it in her lap, before looking up at him.

"Lily, what's the matter?" James was worried now, but she stayed quiet. Instead of answering, she looked down at the pillow, beginning to pick at one of the fraying corners. "Lily, you can't push me out forever."

"My parents are dead." She blurted, her voice simple, her normally glittering eyes dull, still looking down at the pillow. "My parents are dead, my sister hates me, I have no clue what I want to do with my life, and everyday I fear for those I love." She paused, taking in a shaky breath and looked back at him. "I'm scared, James."

James was silent for a long while before finally responding, "Is that what Dumbledore wanted to see you about? Your parents?" She nodded sadly, looking down again.

Another long pause filled the room before he spoke again. "I'm really sorry about your mum and dad, Lily. It's really awful, and I bet they were great people. As for your sister, if she's still acting like that then she's just not worth it anymore. She'll come around sometime. I'm sure you'll find something, and any job would love to have someone as brilliant as you." When he stopped, she looked up, her face not looking as downtrodden as before. She has begun to get cold though, and a slight shiver had taken over her body.

"As for being scared, we all are. But I, for one, don't want to focus on it until I have to. Live out the rest of my school days."

She nodded, her face still tear-stricken. She downright freezing now, however, and clutching the pillow for warmth. James noticed this, and checking his watch, began to speak again.

"Lily, come down to the common room with me. It's warmer, and everyone should be at dinner."

* * *

><p>As Sirius Black walked through the portrait hole, he couldn't help but wonder where James Potter had been at dinner. McKinnon had mentioned something about Lily, but he had brushed it off. James Potter didn't miss meals for anything.<p>

He began to walk up to the dormitory, before he noticed the unruly head of jet-black hair. Walking over to where his best friend was sitting, he couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

James was on the couch, sitting near the end. A certain redheaded girl's head was resting on his lap. Her eyes were closed, and it was obvious that she was asleep, with one of the blankets wrapped around her. Her face was blotched with red, and Sirius was about to ask his friend what the hell had happened, but James let out an angry whisper of "Shove off. She's sleeping."

Sirius shrugged and walked up to the dormitory, planning to break into some of his Honeyduke's stash.

**A/N: It's finished! Loved it? Hated it? Please let me know.**


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